Welcome friends to Episode #123 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. Life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we thought it would. Perhaps you’ve had a loose idea of the type of person you would become or the kind of work you would do and now you’re questioning it all. Perhaps you’ve never known exactly what you would do and you’ve surprised yourself with where you’re at now. How do you find meaning in where you are and where you are going? How do you receive those nudges from the Universe telling you that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be? Often, synchronicities help us realize that the way life is unfolding is more perfect than we could have imagined it to be. Yet, how do we create those synchronicities? Those aha moments of connection and realization. Today, we’re going to share how to create synchronicities.
I’ve often had a sense of wanting things to be a certain way. Not because I always knew, but because once I knew what I wanted it was hard not to see it come to fruition. Many of you achievers identify with that feeling of control or a sense of frustration when things don’t work the way you planned.
The summer after business school ended, I completed my second yoga teacher training. That next year, my husband and I were invited to a business school friend’s wedding in India. India is a mecca for yogis. Ashrams, temples and spirituality everywhere. This is the home of yoga. I had never been to India before so I was excited thinking about the opportunity to go and perhaps spend time learning from some teachers there or staying at an ashram. I really wanted to do all the yogi things.
Yet, this trip wasn’t just about me. My husband was a part of this trip as well and he did not have the same level of interest in yoga as I did. I felt conflicted. I knew spending a big part of our trip studying with yoga teachers isn’t the way he would want to spend his time there. Yet, I also felt a sadness thinking I was going to miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime.
I kept reminding myself that it didn’t make sense to create an itinerary based on my interests alone. It was his trip too. Even though I was still a bit disappointed that I wouldn’t be studying with teachers or staying at an ashram while I was there, I knew this made the most sense. With that decision, I let the idea of a yoga-based trip to India go.
Creating your vision with other people means that you have to let go of what your specific vision is going to be and think about what benefits the collective. You won’t feel great but it doesn’t mean it’s not what’s best. At the time, I remember feeling a sense of loss even though I knew it was still the right decision to do a different kind of trip. One that was based more on culture and exploration, not one specific aspect of what was available in a vast country. We worked with a guide and he helped us create an itinerary for our time there. There was no yoga on the agenda. Off we went.
One of the places we went to was Mumbai. This was where the wedding was being held. Our guide had recommended a temple for us to go to so we followed his suggestion and showed up for a guided tour. I had just finished a book during my yoga teacher training by Radhanath Swami called, “The Journey Home”. It was a deeply impactful book for me as it detailed the experience of someone from the west who was on a spiritual journey.
As we started the tour of the temple they mentioned that this temple had a connection to Radhanath Swami. I asked them if it was the same person who wrote the book, “The Journey Home” to which the guide replied, “Yes, that Radhanath.” Mumbai has approximately 700 temples. What are the chances that the one temple we visited was the same one frequented by the author of a spiritual book I had read during my yoga teacher training?
It reminds me of a quote by Rumi, “What you seek, is seeking you.” Spirituality is ever-present in India. I didn’t need to go find yoga, it found me. When you let go of your agenda and the way things have to be, the Universe will often show you something even more amazing.
We often think we missed our one chance and opportunity. That this was it and we somehow messed it up or didn’t do it “right”. In our efforts to maximize our experiences, we lose sight of what life could have been if we actually saw what happens when we get out of the way.
Since then, I’ve kept 2 thoughts with me that have served me well in times of uncertainty:
- Have a vision and a “wouldn’t it be amazing if…” but then let it go.
- Have no expectation that it has to be that way, but it would be wonderful if it could.
The things we desire are often on their way to us and the synchronicities that we want to see show up once you let go.
Letting go allows you to see that you don’t have full control over everything in your life. It allows you to practice being in the present moment. When you let go, you accept what is happening right now, in the present moment. Once you drop into that space, everything you desire exists. There is nowhere else, but in this present moment for you to feel successful, a sense of meaning or awe at the seemingly random set of occurrences that have led you up to this very point. How did this very moment show up with the person who said what you needed to hear? Why do you keep getting reminders that you are on the right path once you let go? Because there is nothing else but the right path. That’s what you’re on right now.
Do the work of staying the course by holding the vision, and then let it all go. Find your present moment by accepting what life is showing you right now. The yelling child. The chaotic work environment. The stress of the daily demands. All of this is what we can drop into and accept. Once you’re there you feel a moment of lift. A moment of spaciousness because you’ve stopped wishing it wasn’t this way and moved into this moment. You are then aware of all the opportunities and the seeds that you have sown that are now growing.
This is how you create synchronicities. Let your vision go, but stay committed. Have a loose grip on what it is you desire. When you open your hand it will feel like you’re letting go, but what is really happening is that you’re receiving this or something better.
If you want to take these concepts to a new level and see them manifest in your own very real and full life, schedule your coaching consultation today at https://mayempson.com/contact. There is an alternate universe of possibility waiting for you, even if you feel like you’re in a not-so-interesting or special job, that you don’t know what your gifts are, or if life really has something more in store for you. Hint: it does.
That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.