Welcome friends to Episode #124 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. Sometimes it feels like the thing we want is taking too long. We feel that we would go so much further and faster if we could just do it all alone. What do you do when you feel other people are holding you back? What if you are in a marriage, partnership or organization and you can’t act alone? How do you still achieve your own goals? Today’s podcast is on creating synchronicities with others.
Last week we talked about creating synchronicities. Those nudges that help you feel more certain about an uncertain path you are on. Those seemingly random occurrences that keep happening more and more often as you start to live a life where you are guided more by meaning and purpose. I spoke about the story of Mumbai and the first temple we went to and how the author of the one book I had just read in my yoga teacher training certification was the founder of that temple we went to, randomly. As soon as I let go of my agenda to have a yogi trip, it was there. It was that full circle feeling of knowing that of course I would find a connection to the yogi path as soon as I let go of the idea that it had to be a certain way.
What is for you, will not pass you.
This has happened many times since then. Doing what I think is best for the collective – for myself AND others. Releasing my personal agenda but still having a vision of what I desire.
The thing you want is everywhere. It is also here right now.
We think that the thing we want can only be found in one place. Whether it is in a job or a life you want to live. Sometimes it feels like it is predicated on it having to work out in a certain way. We fixate on a specific future but forget that the thing we want most is everywhere. Having one of those full-faith moments that show us that the world isn’t as linear as we imagined it to be.
Opportunities, people and places pop up that seem unrelated to your agenda and later, it all seems to make sense.
While the randomness of life seems to be prevalent, we start to notice that perhaps it isn’t as random as we thought. We start seeing the connections, but aren’t fixated on them having to be there.
Creating synchronicities and noticing the seemingly random occurrences are an act of faith. You don’t have to or need to believe that this is more than a chance occurrence for you to receive the benefit.
What’s the benefit? Of seeing that your life is fine and more than fine. That your efforts mean something. That you are not going unnoticed. Why? Because you are noticing yourself. We often want synchronicities because we are pursuing something that hasn’t taken form yet in the outside world. When we don’t have the intangible present, the results we are looking for, where do we go?
We go to belief. Yet, we get tired, disappointed, worried and frustrated that the thing we want is taking so long or might not happen. Our belief wanes. We see other people as the problem, holding us back from Plan A – the way things were supposed to be.
Instead of giving up on Plan A – the idea of it happening this one, specific, miniscule way – and filling the space with an action, thought or way of being that helps those around you as well as yourself, we give up on the entire vision itself. We fixate on how terrible this new way forward is and how it’s not good for anyone. We don’t move to Plan B.
We resist. We stress. We create a lot of suffering in our experience of pursuing this goal of a good, better, best version of life.
When we do that, we lose the thread of why this vision and intention was important to us in the first place. The Universe responds to the seeds that are planted and continuously watered. Maybe the water comes from the communal well sometimes, but you keep watering. That communal well are the actions, thoughts, and feelings that come from being in service not just to yourself, but others as well.
When you give up without a sense of watering the vision from the collective well – the benefit of others – and let go with a feeling of defeat, you stop watering the plant entirely.
Pick a new source of water. It doesn’t have to all come from you. The way life unfolds has more collective power because others are involved. You think that your vision is the best and then you realize it’s just one of the ways it can happen. Not only that, your way may not even be the most powerful.
Slowness has power
I used to think that the slowness of moving with the collective – your family, organization, society – meant something negative. That faster was better. Faster is only better when you’re operating unsustainably.
I’ve realized since then that faster isn’t always better because when you have the power of the collective, it’s stronger. Results last longer. The process is more sustainable. You have a more cohesive plan because you’ve had to iron things out along the way as you involve others.
We don’t live, work and create lives in isolation. If you want to go out and prove that you can do it alone, go ahead. What often happens is that you realize you don’t want to just do it alone. You want to do it with others. The process of working with others that you tried to skip comes back at you, except this time, you’ve hardened your way of working and you have to break down the walls you’ve created to adapt to others.
It’s never too late to start working as if others are actually not holding you back but instead, helping you do it with a more solid foundation.
We are part of a community and ecosystem. We don’t have to solely abide by societal values or norms, but our impact is greater when we can bring more people along with us. The slowness of your path was never about time, it was about gathering power and momentum.
Synchronicities started happening and showing up everywhere for me once I embraced exactly what life was showing me. As soon as I said, “Let’s get to work” and did the thing that wasn’t Plan A because Plan A didn’t go through, I saw the benefits of Plan B. This observation of the benefits didn’t always happen immediately, but it always showed up.
Achievers love to get what they want immediately and feel the high of success that comes from attaining a goal, checking off a box or doing something that felt unachievable. Spiritual Achievers set the bar higher – towards a vision and goal that has more impact and that comes often with the need to delay immediate gratification of goal attainment. It is harder to do things and work well with others while also benefiting yourself. It is easier to just benefit others or yourself, but rarer to do both.
It requires delaying gratification of that final end state. Yet, it is so much more rewarding.
How willing you are to delay gratification is how quickly you will actually experience the satisfaction of success. Of seeing how life is working for you. Plan A was never better. It was just one way of many infinite possibilities. In my coaching, I teach you how to handle the discomfort of delaying gratification and of unhooking yourself from the drug of external validation that keeps you from taking the road less traveled. Instead of material attainment, you will ask yourself what spiritual attainment looks like in a world where others and yourself have been driven by tangible things.
It is an amazing path to start to walk down and you’ll see you’re not alone on this journey. Instead of that being a bad thing, you’ll welcome the fact that you’re with other seekers like you who have a lot to be grateful for – yet also know that there’s more to life than fulfilling your basic needs.
More fulfillment comes with being willing to create synchronicities with yourself and others.
Give yourself the gift of seeing synchronicities everywhere. Allow yourself to support all ways of being, doing and having. You’ll see then how wildly supported you actually are when you let go and let in the support that’s already around you.
If you want to take these concepts to a new level and see them manifest in your own very real and full life, schedule your coaching consultation today at https://mayempson.com/contact. There is an alternate universe of possibility waiting for you and a new chapter of your life to explore. One with a greater sense of purpose, leadership and energy.
That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.