88: Energetic Boundaries & Connection


Welcome friends to Episode #88 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. We need energy to sustain us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually no matter what pursuit we are engaging in. If you’re in the pursuit to live a life where you feel more healthy, alive and like you are purposeful in your work and personal life, you’ll want to understand energy better. One of the things we often struggle with energetically in terms of our human experience, are other people. We feel drained or low after spending time with other people. As you head into the holiday season or into a new season of your life, how do you stay on your path of growth and evolution without feeling so affected by others? How can we use energetic principles to create more balance in our personal and professional lives? Today, we’ll discuss how we stop moving from highs to lows, create from our own universes, and how the Akashic field stores all of what you’ve experienced and choose to experience.

So today’s podcast is from a live, an Instagram live that I recorded earlier this year. And the message is so relevant this time of year because we are all trying to manage our energy in this season. We all have a long list of to-dos and goals that we want to achieve. So it’s vital that we spend time understanding a bit more about the energy that fuels our achievement and how to utilize it for your good, instead of letting it be the obstacle that keeps you from achieving your goals. Listen in, and if you enjoy it and the live, raw of Instagram lives, feel free to follow me over on instagram.com/mayempson. My handle is @mayempson. As I start another round of 30 days live series to help you stay focused and confident that you will achieve your goals this year.

Good morning, guys. I’m outside. I just finished my run and I am in post workout mode, but I’m with you guys and hanging out. And I wanted to hop on and share a little bit because I know that I’ve been coming on talking about retreats. One of the things about retreats to know is this idea of how do you manage your energetic boundaries? How do you protect yourself energetically? How do you connect when you want to energetically?

So I’ve been doing a lot of work in the energetic healing space in the world of the Akashic records. I’m an Akashic records reader. And a lot of what I coach on is intuitive leadership, which is this idea of connecting to your intuition and making good decisions for you and for the highest good for everyone. And a lot of the people I work with have gotten themselves into places where they feel like this analysis paralysis or that they feel like they don’t know how to move forward.

It does not seem related to energy and energetic management and energetic boundaries and protections, but it is. And I will tell you why. So I like to think of our energy as the trunk of a tree, like this. And how firmly rooted we are into the energy that we know is ours, the way that we want to show up in this world will define how much we can either set boundaries or protect ourselves, and really not be as affected, I would say, negatively by people around you or the energy around you.

And the way that this actually shows up in real life is living a life where you feel it is driven by your character, your principles, your values. And for many of us, we kind of have a loose sense of what that is. But no matter kind of where you are on the spectrum of feeling like you’re really living into your ethics, or your character, or your values, the question is, where do you feel that you’re not?

And in those places where you feel that you’re not, that’s usually where your energy is not as strong. And as a result, you feel like you’re losing energy to other people. It makes you feel weak, tired, all these things. And this comes up in the workplace. It comes up when you go on retreat. It comes up when you go anywhere that is not necessarily you by yourself doing your own thing. And that’s why for many empathic people and highly sensitive people, when they get around other people, they feel really drained or they don’t feel themselves, or they get really tired and exhausted and all those things from the environment that they’re in. And then they come back from vacation or they come back from whatever party or gathering, even if it’s digital and they feel the sense of like, “I just need to be by myself for like a million days.”

And that’s not necessarily wrong because that’s you honoring and noticing how you’re reacting to the situation. But my question for you and for everyone else because I know some of you guys have this question is, how do you manage that more consistently so you don’t have these peaks and valleys? How do you have a life where it’s not like a high and then a low and then a high and a low, and then constantly you’re just like, “Oh my gosh, this person exhausts me,” or, “Oh my gosh, I can’t be around this person.” And I’m not saying you need to be around everyone. But the analogy, again, that I would use is this trunk. This trunk of a tree. But the other thing is this idea in the Akashic field. So what is the Akashic field? Akashic field is essentially the energetic field around you.

When I read Akashic records, I read your energy. I see images. I see where people are at. I see analogies for what they’re encountering in their life and the clearest path to move forward or where they are right now. And what happens in the process and I’ve learned this when I do readings is that I don’t always connect into everyone the same way. And the reason I don’t is because I’ve started to witness that either I will not go there or they will not go there. So you don’t even realize this, but you have a level of say around the energy that you keep. When I started doing this work, I purposely said, “I don’t want to see crazy things. I don’t want to see terribly negative things. And I want my family to be kept whole in this process.” But I will do this work.

And I will go into this field of energy, healing, of energy work. And it integrates a lot with the coaching work that I do, with any kind of interpersonal work that I do. But I don’t go around reading everyone. And I don’t go around looking into your energy. And I think that’s also a misconception. There is permission. There is boundaries. And I don’t even and want to do that with everyone, which is why sometimes you could have an interaction with me as just like a normal friend and it’s very unlike what I would do with people who I actually work with because they want to go there.

They are ready to go there. So when you have this idea of energy and your boundaries, you can ask yourself, “Where am I ready to go? Where do I feel weak? What am I not willing to experience right now? And what am I willing to let in?” For example, often I live I feel like in this parallel universe, [inaudible 00:09:20] a lot of folks, this is also one of the principles of the Akashic field that there are these many instances that are out there. Many instances that are out there and the atoms, the galaxies, the consciousness even arises from everything that is in this field.

And that’s why we can connect telepathically transpersonally and know things. That’s why animals have a sense of knowing things beforehand. And that’s why we sometimes connect back to it when we are closer to… Jay’s getting in his car. When we’re closer to nature. When we’re closer to our original or true selves when we are still, and we almost have this animal like sense of our surroundings and what’s going on in people. And that’s why when we go on retreats sometimes, we experience that.

Suddenly we’re in this place, whether it’s virtual… Sorry. Jay’s driving. Whether it’s virtual or a live thing, where you go away, you suddenly have this experience of connecting to something that you haven’t connected to before. Maybe a thought, an image, maybe a person even, or a message. And those experiences are unexpected. And those experiences you cannot manufacture and those experiences you can’t force.

So when we are in our daily lives, we can create those experiences too. But how do we do that? And how do we not let everything just come on in and everyone just come on in? We are strong in who we are and that’s the first thing. We stay connected to this trunk of the essence of who we are. And that is lived in this human life through what we do, what we say, what we act on, how we think, how we consciously try to do things. So that is the way that we create an energetic boundary. Not because we’re setting up protection and all these fields of light, which is another way of setting energetic boundaries is literally putting a cone of light around you. But I remember talking about this with someone and it was like, “Well, wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to do that?”

I’m not saying that if that’s where you’re at right now, don’t do it. Because do what you need to. But this idea for me was this, how do I emanate so clearly my energy, not necessarily by being loud, or yelling, or dressing big, or being big? It doesn’t have to be this really outwardly big thing, but almost this strength. And strength isn’t always seen. Energy isn’t always seen, but it’s felt. It is felt when you lead. When you show up, even though things are uncertain and you say, “Okay, let’s figure this out.” It shows up when there is a moment of dispute or you’re just in a thing and you take a deep breath and you try to move forward, or you try to come back, you try to repair what’s going on.

It’s felt when you are with someone and you decide to be really present. So we sometimes think that we need these crazy things to happen. All the crystals – not to say that there’s anything wrong with crystals, or all the sprays, or the smudging and feathers and that will protect us, but really, what it is is the intention that is powerful. Even when I practice Reiki, because I do, I remember when I started learning it, I was like, “Well do I have to do the hand thing?” Not that I don’t feel the energy in my hands, but is this energetic healing and connection coming from who I am in the essence of who I am?

And I remember my teacher was saying, “No, it can be done just being still. Some of the greatest practitioners can send out energy, can send out Reiki – which is universal life force energy – by just holding that in their mind’s eye.” So this essence of energy is not necessarily one in which we have to force. And I liken it too when you are in this moment of recognition. Like when you’re with someone that’s speaking truth, it’s so clearly that feels like you’re being so seen that you almost start to cry before anything’s even said. When you see someone looking into your eyes and suddenly they’re saying something or they don’t even say something, but you know that the energy is so potent, that there’s something there. So I also feel with the relationships that I have with people – that it’s not necessarily always about how much time I see them.

It’s not about how often I text them or how much I call them. It’s almost about how much I care about them and am holding them in my energy. There are people, and I would say I fall in love easily and people easily fall in love with me. I don’t mean that in a sexy kind of way. But I mean it more in the sense of it doesn’t have to be this big thing. It doesn’t have to be this drama. It can be as simple as just caring a lot about someone and in a world sometimes where we feel like we need to be aloof, or distant, or cool, or detached in those ways, I feel that it’s really disarming when people actually are like, “Oh, I actually like you and care about you.” Not in a weird, “I’m stalking you,” kind of way. I have to put out all these disclaimers. But that’s because we are so tripped up with the word love.

So the reason this all goes back to energy is because love is energy too. And it’s the same way that we connect, not just in protecting ourselves and creating these boundaries, but it’s also in the same way we connect to care. So I’m putting out this retreat right now and it’s something I’ve been thinking about for like ever, and I love retreats and I know you guys are all into retreats too, so you understand. And I just remember this moment where I was writing my email, sending it out to the people on my list and that’s what I like [inaudible 00:16:38] that energy, of that emotion, of that thing inside you where if you start to become aware, you recognize. I had this almost feeling of like, “This is so exciting. Can’t wait.” I’m all about retreats. Yeah. And I felt like it’s amazing. I’m planning this beautiful party and people get to come to it, but it’s almost like I’m planning it for me.

And if people want to come, that’s great. And of course, there are a bunch of people coming. But it was this feeling of connect to the thing. Yes, it gets you in all the feels. So I try to remember that there is this energy that I can really tap into that’s powerful because as soon as I saw I was like, “Oh, there’s something there.” And we always feel it. But then we get all worried because the feeling is like ephemeral. We’re like, “Oh my gosh, it went away. Today is a normal day and I don’t feel the feels all the day and what am I going to do?

I don’t feel the chills running through me. I don’t feel like the tingling in my hands. Have I lost it? Is it not happening? Maybe it was just a dream.”

Have you ever had that moment where you come back from a retreat and you’re like, “Oh, it was just like a dream. Is it even real, the connection that I had with this person or these moments of clarity that somehow came through?”

And what I will say this. That, yeah, it is real, but the way that we keep it real is bringing it into our world by making it real. And sometimes, and this is why this is in the topic of energetic boundaries and protection, is we forget that we can bring things into our universe. I’m living this parallel universe and you are too. And right now we are connected.

Our Venn diagram, our two circles are overlapping. And there are moments when you want it to do that and you can bring the people in. You can bring that experience in. You can decide to reconnect with the same people you had connections to on the retreat. You can decide to not. That is important too. You can decide to not. So you can say, “I don’t want to do that anymore.” Or, “I don’t feel that anymore.” Or, “This is too much for me and I’m not going to let it in.” So in those moments of when we are all feeling so much, we get to decide, we get to allow and we get to experience it in every single moment. I almost feel this is going to be a little bit… I don’t know about controversial, but I don’t know if it’s a taboo subject.

But there’s a book, it’s called Pussy, and it is really about women and the way that we relate to sex and our body and all of these things. And they talked about orgasm. So I forgot the name of that… Regina Thompson is the name of the author. I highly recommend the book. And she was talking about orgasms and how many of us… Yes, I’m going there. You must be like, “Is this what I thought I was going to get when I was joining, hit this live button?” Yes you are. But this will be worth the price of admission. I guarantee you. This one point probably. So many of us experience orgasms as if it was this roller coaster. Right? Like, “we’re going to hit the top.” And then we come down. What if you never hit the top? What if that wasn’t the goal? What if you had an hour long feeling of climaxing because you’re always there and you’re not trying to hit the top and ride it down the track?

And that’s what I feel is like the way we work with our energy. We always feel like we’re just supposed to hit this massive high and then we have this big release. We have this massive connection to someone and then we have this massive disconnection. What if we were always at this place within our energy field, where we bring into it the things that are constantly feeding us, constantly allowing us to feel whole, to feel present and constant filtering out what isn’t working either, constantly evaluating? So it’s not this one time, this is my life, this is how things work, this is the way I am, which also plays into our identity and why we get stuck and we don’t move forward and we stay in the status quo.

But it’s this constant movement as if you were this energetic field, which you are, constantly bringing to you, accumulating, moving forward and moving around, up and down in and out, into other realms, into other energy with people that you don’t even know, with people that you maybe never even met in person before, yet you feel this connection to. And maybe that’s the most real and true sense of what the world looks like.

And if that was the case, the protection doesn’t have to be there as much as our ability to tune in to what we desire, to tune into what we love. Right? That feeling of love. To tune into what can I do in this present moment that is going to help me create the future that I want. Not why don’t I have the future that I want and therefore, the thing I felt was fake or how come this person isn’t with me now that I connected to, whether it’s a loved one, or friend, or just a stranger that you met that you felt this like connection to? You’re able to hold it all. And when we believe and know that everything is out there in the field, that everything arises from the field of energy and that science and physics support, which helps us feel like it’s real, or that it’s whole and we can believe because believing it’s a big part of it.

Then what would you do? What would you do differently? How would you create your own vacuum where you don’t have to necessarily have a boundary, but no one just gets to come in? No one just gets to come in. And that’s why I think people forget. The reason a lot of people don’t affect me and the reason people do affect me is because I let them in or I don’t let them in. And it’s not like, “I don’t like you.” I don’t let them in. I just feel because they do, they exist in a separate plane from me. They literally have their own things going on, their own world. So I don’t need to be in it and they don’t need to be in mine.

I can invite them in. I can be like, “Oh my gosh, let’s do this thing together. It would be amazing.” Or, “Let’s connect,” or, “Let’s meet up.” Or connect with people intentionally. But I don’t go into a space. I don’t go on vacation with the people and then think, “Oh my goodness, they’re going to drain me.” Although they can. I’m not saying that there aren’t environments where I just know, I would just be like “oh really” all day long. But I will say that you will likely know this earlier. You will likely be much more aware and intentional. And many of you probably already are because you are these empathic, energetic beings. And that’s why you naturally tend to gravitate toward certain people. And it feels really whole and safe and good to be around them or you don’t.

And you’re just like, “That’s okay.” So that is the main topic that I wanted to cover today around the idea of these energetic boundaries and protection, really getting into this analogy of the root and us really being grounded in who we show up as, which allows us to not control other people, but really be intentional about what we say and what we do and how we act and how we live from our character. And that to me is probably the most important thing. One of the reasons I really like to do this kind of work and the intention setting around it is because I’ve seen what has happened. The reason I like to do this kind of visioning for 5 years plans is that I’ve seen what happens when I didn’t have intention and I didn’t have goals. 

I wasn’t aware of this, I would say, concept around the Akashic field or even the field of energy. And I got really burnt out. I got really sick. I blamed the world around me. I blamed other people. I thought everyone else was doing something wrong. And how come I couldn’t just find this place that fit me? And since then I’ve had a lot of shifts that included forgiving people that never needed to probably have been forgiven in the first place because they didn’t actually do anything wrong. And that was a big one too. Realizing, wow, all these people were never wrong. They never had anything to be forgiven probably.

Even though I felt that they do and now I feel that I can see those things much more clearly now. Same thing with work and culture and things. I used to be like, “Oh, this is just terrible. And these people are terrible.” And all those things. And I’m not saying that there are better and worse cultures around you. But I started realizing that that was so much more me. I had a choice. I could just say, “This is not for me. Bye.” And instead, I sat there and was like, “This is bad. I can’t believe these people aren’t doing their thing.”

Like the whole time. And that made me literally sick. I got sick for months. I had massive burnout and I just kept going. And I was this person that was still achieving and doing all the things but I was feeling not so good on the inside. Really not good and really not aligned and really not whole and really not present and completely out of sorts. So I know that being intentional about what I want and creating a new plan that is aligned with the thing I want has created this place where I’m able to now move in a world with energy that is my own and get to co-mingle and co-create and be with others and help our energies create a synergy that creates something even better.

So that’s all I’ve got to say, my friends. So I love you, guys. Thank you all for the love. I know that so many of you are doing such great work right now even though the energy is so, so high and can be draining. So hopefully you can take some of what I shared today and let it refuel you and let it keep you whole so that you can serve all the people around you. You can heal yourself. You can still go after the things you want to go after and do it in a way that is sustainable and loving and as caring for yourself as you do for others. All right. Love you, my friends. I will see you guys later and let me know if you have any questions. Love to hear from you guys. Bye.

So if today’s live and the topic resonated with you and you want to see transformational results in your life, you will love coaching. When you get coached consistently, we will tap into that next level layer of energy and understand what is holding you back so that you can make the change you’re looking to make. It’s a combination of the energetic, the spiritual and the practical. This is what you’ve been waiting for. So if you are ready, go to www.mayempson.com/contact to learn more, to sign up for a consultation and to figure out what it is that you want to do next and start to step into it. Have a good one of, my friends. I’ll see you next time.


Listen in, and if you enjoy it – feel free to follow me over on https://www.instagram.com/mayempson/ as I start a next round of 30 days live series to help us stay focused and confident that we will achieve our goals this year.



If this topic resonates with you and you want to see transformational results in your life, you’ll love coaching. Getting coached consistently is the spark that will light the fire of inspiration to make the change you’re looking to make. It is the first step in creating clarity, making a massive shift and moving obstacles out of your way so you can move forward. You can go to www.mayempson.com/contact to learn more.

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