81: 10 Ways to Be Yourself


Welcome friends to Episode #81 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. We all dream of the freedom of living life on our own terms. Yet, we know that we aren’t being our true selves in all situations. We seem to live for other people’s expectations of us or we desire validation that we are actually doing ok. What would it look like if you were truly yourself? What are 10 things you can do today to be yourself?  We’re going to answer those questions in today’s podcast.

One of the things that we first learn when we start to have more self awareness is that we don’t truly know who we are. We start to see that we have values that we’re not living into fully, yet are driving our life. We have motivations that are shaping our decisions. We have unconscious beliefs that haven’t yet been examined.

What it means to be your true self is that you’re not just being authentic, but you’re being the higher and most conscious version of yourself. When I say conscious, I don’t mean that you’re conscious of what others think. Conscious means that you are thoughtful about your behaviors and that you’ve examined what it means to be this kind of person. Authenticity isn’t laziness, it’s going beyond the facade of other people’s values and beliefs so that you can own your own life.

What would it feel like to completely own all your decisions? Without blaming the outside world for how you feel? People, places and things are not why you don’t feel the way you want. This is what it means to be fully yourself. There’s no right or wrong way to be, but there is a completely different accountability that you take with your life, your presence and where you are in your journey.

What I have found is that as strange as it may seem to try to “be” more you, it’s a worthy pursuit if you want to find even greater success and fulfillment in your life. You will blow away your own expectations of how much more joy and energy you have. You are inspiring others because people know the difference between those moments when you’re truly living the life that feels aligned with your soul versus just those moments when you are just saying the words. 

One of the most profound moments I have had in my own journey of awakening was when I realized that the more authentically I showed up, the more personal power I commanded.

Who doesn’t want to command personal power? Who wouldn’t want to feel agency in their lives? Who isn’t compelled by the simplicity of living a life where you are more you and that being good for not just yourself but for those around you?

So drumroll please…

Here are 10 ways I’ve found have brought about the most transformation in my life and allow you to be yourself in the process.

Examine where you are not being yourself.

When you think about your personal life, work life, friendships and community, do you feel authentic in those spaces? Where can you be more vulnerable and honest in asking for what you want?

Define your values.

Specifically, what energy and emotions are present when you are at your best? How many times today have you not lived in that energy?

Identify the beliefs you have about yourself.

Which of these feel like they would lead you to a more expansive life with less fear of fear? Which of these would serve you on your journey of developing greater clarity and direction?

Develop worthiness and abundance as a given.

What would you do if you didn’t have to do it for the money or because other people would think more highly of you? What are all the possible ways you would spend your time? Who would you serve? What would you do? How can you be that person who does this today?

Notice activities you are drawn towards and the strengths they utilize.

There are many assessments you can take to determine your strengths. You can also poll others around you and ask them what they’ve noticed. We’re often unconsciously competent in areas where we have true strengths. In terms of activities, these relate to the things you do where these strengths come out. A clue for where you are utilizing your strengths is to think about an activity where you seem to get lost in the moment. An activity where you lose track of time and you feel a rush of energy as if you were connected to something larger than yourself? A purpose, a feeling, a sense of wholeness or calm. Then ask yourself today, how can you spend time connecting to that energy?

Develop your intuition.

What does your inner voice tell you about you? Are there desires you have been ignoring? Are there directions you have followed? What were the results? What can you do today to follow the direction of your inner voice?

Notice your body’s reactions.

Where do you seem to store your incongruences? Our body holds unreleased emotions and disturbances, stress and tension.

Remove ties to the outside world.

This may sound extreme, but imagine you came into this world again, right here and right now. What would you pursue and why? 

Release the past.

Instead of showing up in the roles and identities you’ve been given or you’ve assumed, look into this present moment and ask what it needs from you. Do you need to bring the weight of the past relationships, wrongs and judgements if you want to feel free? Unlikely.

Go inward.

When you realize that you are yourself no matter what the external situation provides, you have found authenticity. When you go beyond the personal ego and pettiness of day to day living and move to the awakened self who is focused on day to day loving – you are truly you. 

Loving your life starts with loving you. Not the little ego-based you who feels slighted, judged and so self conscious about your performance, appearance and the things you have – but the bigger, more expansive you who has a lot more appreciation for life and your role in it.

When you are truly yourself, you are fearlessly living – not because of a lack of fear. You are just removing fear from the way you decide to live. There’s a quote from Winston Churchill I love. “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a choice.” It always reminds me to ask myself “what would courage look like in this situation?”

Where could I be more courageous? In terms of communication, the questions would be, “What would I say? Who would I say it to?” Speaking your truth is a sign of growth because it requires you to understand what your truth is and discern when it’s appropriate to share it with others. Yet, it all starts with you. With a lot of questioning the way you’ve always done things. 

If you are in a place where you are feeling stagnant, ready for growth, and not sure where to go for it – I would encourage you to start with being more you. The answers to what job am I looking for, how can I make the most of my time, what should I do next, how do I get better at relationships, how do I make more money and how do I live more fearlessly are always there. This is the transformation that occurs when you realize you can feel more alive in every moment, not by changing who you are to fit each scenario but by allowing each circumstance to be a training ground for you to live into who you really are. You decide who you want to be, no matter what and you stay that course.

If this topic resonates with you and you want to see transformational results in your life, you’ll love coaching. Getting coached consistently is the spark that will light the fire of inspiration to make the change you’re looking to make. It is the first step in creating clarity, making a massive shift and moving obstacles out of your way so you can move forward. You can go to www.mayempson.com/contact to learn more.

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