48: When you help everyone else but you


If you’re reading this post, you’re likely someone who wants to be a better version of themselves. You’re likely also someone who gives easily and wants to help others. You’re the strong one that others rely on. You’re the champion for others, but today – we’re going to dive into how to not lose yourself in the process of helping others.



Givers tend to want to make an impact on the world. They don’t always need to be seen in big ways, but they want to be appreciated and valued. They also don’t want to burn out or feel like they’re not taking care of what’s most important to them. 


If you’re a giver, you’re likely a people pleaser as well. Someone who takes care of others, anticipates their needs, and does the uncomfortable work for the sake of those who may not have that capacity. You are their voice. You receive a sense of satisfaction from doing the hard thing so that you can have impact. The thing about impact is that it can come with a cost. When we begin to impact the world from a place of me, me, me – we are taking the energy of me, me, me and depleting ourselves.


If we truly want to have a greater impact on the world and those around us, we have to impact the world from a place of we, we, we. What is the driving force behind what you do and why? Often we feel that we’re ambitious seekers and it’s a personal mission or vendetta we are on. We have something to prove or we want to leave a legacy in some shape or form. What we don’t realize is that when we begin to dig deeper into the why of what we’re doing, it actually usually comes from a more connected space. A place that involves community, other people, and to serve and contribute back to the community in some way.


The energy of that we are trying to serve is your why. From this collective why, we realize that we are most impactful and powerful when we engage the collective energy. How then, do we harness the power of the collective to help you on your mission of impact?


It can feel lonely when you’re on the path of development and you’re not always surrounded by caring, loving people who understand what you’re doing and why. As we evolve and change our ways of thinking, we sometimes forget that we have to renegotiate our relationships with others who met or knew us as that person from before. The person who may not have cared so much about other people in this way, who took stances on social issues or who started to seek more healing or alternative ways of living and looking at the world. We don’t have to give up all those we love and care about, but if we can find communities where you can explore the questions you have in a safe space – you will feel a burden lift off your shoulders. Without realizing what is happening, we plug into the energy of resentment or loneliness and that is what permeates our day to day. 

My belief is that we can rise above our circumstances, energetically – and decide that we can be, create or find the communities or people who resonate with us and the ways that we want to show up in the world. Your network matters and who you surround yourself with will impact you profoundly in sometimes the most unexpected ways. It only takes one person to change your life.


Ask for help

There’s some myth that it’s better to do it alone than it is to rely on the help of others. Have you ever thought that about any task or project you’re working on, whether it is personal or professional? Who has the time to engage others? Who has the time to work with others? If I ask for help, doesn’t that make me weak? These are the thoughts that we can think on any given day. I know that it’s been my way of operating for a long time, until I realized that in my desire to expand – I couldn’t do it alone. This is why I have a coach, and will likely continue to have some kind of coach in my life as long as I’m expanding and growing. We don’t see our own blind spots and sometimes we don’t even see our own achievements. When I coach, I hold people accountable a higher level of experience in life. To ask for more of life – which includes their vision of simplifying, doing less yet having more, creating a more enriching lifestyle, and not losing sight of who they are along the way.

My question for you is who is your champion? Think about this question this week as you start to move through the various uncertainties and decisions you must make. Who is voicing the uncomfortable for you? Who is challenging you yet holding space for that vision of your life you desire?


If you resonate with this content and want to know how to apply this to your life, schedule a complimentary 1:1 session with me here at www.mayempson.com/contact. Limited spots available.




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