Welcome to Episode #246 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast

If you’re not trying to blow up your life in the process, you don’t have to.

I want to start there, because there comes a point where we’re ready to make a change to our career, and the very next thought is, how do I do this?

But that’s not really the question. What we’re actually asking is: how do I do this without blowing up my life? How do I do this while maintaining my income? How do I do this without making the same mistakes I made last time?

The grass is always greener until we get to the point where we actually have a career decision to make. And suddenly, we’re not so sure we want to do it.

This comes up because career change is something we go through whether we want it or not.

Our life changes. We have kids we want to spend time with and care for. Our income needs change. We get laid off in a restructuring. We leave because this place doesn’t work for us anymore.

We spend so much of our life at work. So of course we need to think about whether this change will affect the rest of our life, and if so, how.

We also don’t love change. So we struggle when we think about changing the status quo. And then we reach the point where the boredom, or the frustration of not using more of our potential and our gifts, gets bigger than the pain of change.

That’s when we move.

The common belief is that career changes are massive, life-shattering moves. That we have to run away and become a digital nomad to be happy.

But here we are with our real lives in front of us. Mortgages. Families. Healthcare. And we start to see that what we’re responsible for isn’t the same as it is for someone whose income is much lower and who doesn’t have much to lose.

This is why I’m such a proponent of taking smart, calculated risks. So our decisions are purposeful and intentional.

A dream job doesn’t have to mean a brand new job. 

Sometimes it means redesigning the role you’re already in so it finally uses what you’re actually good at. Sometimes it means getting clear on what you want before you go anywhere. And sometimes, yes, it means leaving. All three are the same work, and they start in the same place. So if you don’t want to blow anything up, or you don’t even know what you want yet, you’re exactly who this is for.

You can make moves that give you a significant income, a new set of peers and a new network, and still be there for your family and friends.

Here’s how.

Step one: get clear on what you want, or what you don’t want.

It’s pretty easy to define what we’re struggling with, even when we aren’t sure what we want next.

People come to me all the time saying, “May, I don’t even know what my thing is. I just know it’s not this, and here’s why.”

That’s enough to start. Once we’re clear on what you’re moving away from, we can get clear on what you’re moving toward.

What kind of income do you want? What is the working environment like? What would you actually be doing every day?

Step two: ask yourself if you’re willing to make the trade.

We often ask for a job with a certain income and a certain flexibility, but we don’t yet have the skills that would warrant that level of autonomy or that level of pay.

So the real question is: are we willing to put in the unpaid effort and time to build the expertise and the credentials? Are we willing to invest in ourselves so we become the person who can hold that kind of job and that kind of life?

This is where the thoughts show up. Am I smart enough? Am I good enough? Am I overqualified?

All of those patterns in how you think shape whether you’re willing to make the trade. You want to hold the energy of the person who can make it, and who is willing to make it, for the kind of exchange you’ll receive in return.

And there’s one more thought I want you to watch for.

So many of us believe we should be second in command, because we’re carrying more of the load at home.

I’d encourage you to notice that thought. It keeps us playing small. Not just in what we’re willing to deliver, but in what we’re willing to dream.

Step three: decide you’ll do it without blowing up your life.

When I started doing the spiritual and coaching work, I made a distinct deal with the Universe.

If I leaned in, if I really worked with everything life was asking of me, to do more with my gifts, then I would not blow up my life in the process.

I wouldn’t estrange my family, who never asked to be put on the entrepreneurial train, or the spiritual and personal development bus. I would take them with me.

And in that process, I still do my corporate work and my coaching work. I decided that was the way it would work.

That’s the key. I decided.

All of the paths work to some degree. Burn the boats works, because you feel so much pressure to change that you’re willing to blow it all up.

But if you’re like me, and you don’t hate your life, you just want things to be better because you know it’s possible and why not, then you’ll see what I saw. It can be done.

I didn’t have a lot of examples of people doing both. So I became one.

In the beginning, it was a little begrudging, because I drank the koolaid that doing one thing only was better, or that blowing up your life was a badge of honor.

But I kept struggling with that internally, because when I looked at my actual life, I didn’t have to.

And when I looked at the stories of people who succeeded by blowing up their lives, I didn’t have the same context. I didn’t have the same situation.

That kind of specificity, and that kind of grounded dreaming, was what I needed to make this work in my real life.

I wanted to make money, but not at the expense of my family. I wanted to use my gifts, but not overwork. I wanted to build my coaching business and keep delivering at a high level, if not a higher one, in my corporate work.

So I asked myself who I would need to become to change my career without blowing up my life.

That answer guided me.

If that’s useful for you, I’d encourage you to look closely at your own life. Is the career change that’s next for you really going to cost you as much as you think? Or are you scared because it’s simply unknown?

I’ve navigated so many of these changes with my clients that now I see them as normal. As openings for their lives to get better. Not through hope, but because we planned, and evaluated, and created those options by design.

And when I do this work with women, it comes down to three things.

Knowing your Superpower Edge™, the work that is unmistakably yours.

Protecting your energy, so you can act on what you know instead of running on empty.

And owning your value, so you’re seen, chosen, and paid for that edge.

Those three steps are how you change your career without blowing up your life.

That’s exactly what I’m teaching live on July 15 at my free training, 3 Steps to a Dream Job Without Sacrificing Your Health or Relationships.

If your next chapter has been sitting on the back burner, this is where you start it.

You can learn more or start a conversation at www.mayempson.com/contact

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Want to know more about what happens when you join?

1. When you join Spiritual Achiever® Coaching you’ll be supported for a full year: Career Revelation Academy: A 5-step career change process (if you have a job you want to stay in, I’ll show you how to love it even more) that can launch you into your next career chapter in 30 days.
2. 2x/month group training and coaching on Spirituality, Achievement, Earth Energy and Harmony. You’ll know how to design your days for breakthroughs, create a personal brand and community, lead yourself and others through change, become more physically and mentally fit, reduce stress and reinvent what’s possible in this next chapter of your life.
3. Monthly 1:1 Coaching Sessions: To help you break through obstacles, define your individual path, and to work on both strategy and mindset.