220: Stop waiting for permission to be special

Mindset

Welcome to episode #220 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. Today we’re going to challenge a belief that holds so many of us back: “What makes me so special when so many people are doing the same thing?”

It’s a thought that creeps in whenever we’re on the verge of something new or when we’re trying to figure out our next steps. Today, I want to show you how this belief, while common, doesn’t have to define your path. And more importantly, I’ll share how the Spiritual Achiever® Coaching process can help you get started—even when you don’t feel particularly special.

So let’s start by acknowledging the truth. The question, “What makes me special?”, is rooted in comparison. We look around, see others succeeding, and wonder if there’s any room for us to do the same. But here’s the thing: being special isn’t about being the only one in the room. It’s about being the most authentic version of yourself. That’s where the real magic happens.

Before we dive into authenticity, I want you to first sit with that thought for a moment: “What makes me so special?” Notice how it feels when you say that to yourself. Does it make you feel small? Unimportant? Maybe even like you shouldn’t bother trying? That’s the exact belief we’re going to challenge today.

Here’s what I want you to realize: that belief is based on a scarcity mindset. It’s rooted in the idea that there’s only so much room at the top, or that only a few people can be successful in any given field. But is that really true? Or is it something we’ve been conditioned to believe?

The truth is, there’s an abundance of opportunity in this world. There’s not just one way to succeed. So, let’s start by breaking down this limiting belief:

Idea 1: Challenge the Idea of “Competition”

We often think that if a lot of people are already doing something, the market is saturated, and there’s no room for us. But have you ever noticed how many restaurants, coffee shops, or yoga studios exist in a single city? And they all thrive, right?

This belief comes from the idea that competition is a bad thing. But what if competition is actually a sign that there’s demand for what you want to do? What if it’s proof that people need this work and that there’s room for different perspectives and approaches?

Let’s say you want to be a coach or start a business. Sure, there are lots of coaches out there. But none of them have your exact story, your voice, or your unique way of helping people.

Take a moment to really think about that. Even if there are hundreds or thousands of people doing something similar, no one will do it exactly the way you do. You bring a unique combination of skills, personality, and lived experiences that no one else can replicate.

This combination is what people resonate with – and if you have the same message as someone else but it’s coming from you with your lived experiences, it will reach a different audience who needs it.

Idea 2: Acknowledge the Work Involved

Now, let’s challenge another belief: the idea that if you’re meant to do something, it should come easily. How often do we hear people say, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll just happen”? But here’s the thing: no one who’s successful got there without effort. You can have all the passion in the world, but without work, without commitment, that passion stays just a dream.

To be “special,” you need to work on your craft. Whether that means developing your skills, gaining experience, or learning from others who are further along the path, the reality is, you are the one who makes yourself special by doing the work.

This doesn’t mean you have to grind yourself into the ground, but it does mean you have to commit. Commit to learning, to failing, to growing, and to continuously improving. This is where the magic happens. You get to refine your strengths and embrace the process, even when it feels challenging.

The other day I was presenting on the Sales organization at the company where I do my corporate training and development work and I knew the number one question I would get from that presentation is “how do I get into sales?” Of course that question came via email after and my response was to start sooner rather than later. The person had sales experience but in a different industry and they wanted to get into CPG (consumer packaged goods) sales. Experience is built through effort and time, so like compound interest with the money you invest, the sooner you start, the more experience you have and the easier it is for you to become “special”.

Idea 3: The “What Makes Me Special” Trap

Finally, let’s confront the real fear behind the question, “What makes me so special?”—the fear of not being enough. The fear that no matter how hard we try, we’ll still blend in, be overlooked, or, worse, fail.

But here’s what I want you to remember: your specialness isn’t about being the best, the most famous, or the most talented right away. It’s about the depth of your work, the impact you make, and how aligned you feel with what you’re doing. Success, in its truest form, is about fulfillment—doing work that matters to you and those you serve.

This is truly when the idea of it being about the journey, not the destination becomes real. You get to do this work and if it pays you, even better. You get to do this work and sometimes you’ll pay to get the experience or education needed. This is all a choice that you made because YOU thought it would be worth it. 

If you keep chasing the idea of “I need to be better than everyone else,” you’ll burn out. Instead, ask yourself: “How can I create the most value? How can I help others in the most authentic way?” Because that’s what makes you special—the way you serve others and show up in your unique power.

When you shift from trying to be special to focusing on how you can grow and serve, you’ll start to realize something important: you’ve been special all along. It’s not about whether or not people see it immediately. It’s about you continuing to show up as your authentic self, getting better at what you do, and impacting the lives of others.

And if you’re not feeling special or sure of yourself right now, it’s okay. That’s why we take a step back and start with the basics of Spiritual Achiever® coaching. It’s a process that helps you unlock your true self—your gifts, your genius—and gives you the clarity to move forward.

The Spiritual Achiever Process – Step 1: Spirituality—Unlocking Your True Gifts

Let’s begin with the spiritual side of the process. This isn’t just about professional success; it’s about unlocking who you truly are. When we ask, “What makes me special?”, we’re often disconnected from our unique strengths and motivations. The Spiritual Achiever® process helps you identify your natural gifts and what truly lights you up.

Think about it: your gifts come so naturally to you that you may not even realize how valuable they are. This process helps you reconnect with those gifts so you can step into your zone of brilliance. It’s not about doing what others are doing—it’s about defining your mission and what your purpose is for this year, or even your lifetime. That’s where you’ll find your uniqueness.

When you shift your focus from “What makes me special?” to “How can I live in my zone of brilliance?”—you start to see that what you stand for matters. You’re not just pursuing professional goals; you’re building a movement around your personal brand and leadership.

Step 2: Achievement—Redefining Yourself as You Grow

Next, let’s talk about achievement. We often stay stuck in the idea that to be special, we need to already be at the top. But in reality, being special comes from redefining yourself as you reach new milestones. Who you are today isn’t who you will be in a year, or even in a month. So, instead of worrying about competition, start focusing on who you are becoming as you grow.

The Spiritual Achiever® process encourages you to stop playing small. We set boundaries, we get clear on what matters most, and we create a vision for the next chapter. Instead of burning out or chasing after every opportunity, you prioritize what aligns with your holistic view of success. This clarity sets the stage for balance, fulfillment, and—yes—feeling truly special because you’ve aligned your life with your values.

Step 3: Mind/Body—Tapping Into Flow and Intuition

Now, we can’t talk about growth without addressing the mind/body connection. Feeling “special” isn’t just a mental shift—it’s about tuning into your body’s needs so you can perform at your best. When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or out of alignment, it’s hard to feel like we’re offering anything special to the world. The Spiritual Achiever® process helps you release that stress and tap into your natural flow.

When you align your daily routines with your body’s rhythms, you start maximizing your productivity and creativity. You get into flow states more often, and your mind becomes clearer. With this kind of clarity, you’re able to prioritize what truly matters, and your intuition becomes a guiding force. This isn’t just about doing more; it’s about doing what feels most aligned for you.

Step 4: Harmony—Leading with Confidence

Finally, let’s talk about harmony. At its core, this part of the process is about mastering self-leadership. The more you connect with who you are, the more you begin to act, speak, and think with confidence. And confidence is key when it comes to challenging the belief that you’re not special. The truth is, you are special when you lead from a place of authenticity.

And here’s the best part: you don’t have to do it alone. Harmony is also about building soul-aligned relationships—communities that support you, challenge you, and help you grow. When you surround yourself with people who are on the same journey, you realize that there’s no scarcity of success. You can co-create with others, and your success doesn’t diminish theirs—it amplifies it.

So, if you’ve ever asked yourself, “What makes me special?”, know that it’s not about being the best or the only one. It’s about unlocking who you truly are, getting skilled at what you do, and leading with authenticity. The Spiritual Achiever® process helps you do just that—it brings clarity, alignment, and purpose to your journey.

As we wrap up today, I want to leave you with a challenge: What is one step you can take this week to unlock your unique gifts? Whether it’s reflecting on your mission, setting clearer boundaries, or tuning into your body’s needs, take action. You are already special—it’s time to start showing it to the world.

Thank you for joining me on Own Your Best Life. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who could use a little reminder that they’re special too. And don’t forget to check out the show notes for more information on the Spiritual Achiever® process. Until next time, keep growing, keep leading, and keep owning your story.

If you’d like to become a Spiritual Achiever, I invite you to watch the free training on how to Stand Out and Lead, using spiritual, high-performance strategies: STAND OUT AND LEAD.

You can apply to join my Spiritual Achiever® program, where you’re going to create your next chapter with spiritual and high-performance strategies to achieve time and financial freedom using my proven method. It’s risk-free. You either start seeing results within your first month or I give you your money back. Schedule your call here at www.mayempson.com/contact.  We’ll see you inside.

Want to know more about what happens when you join?

  1. When you join Spiritual Achiever® Coaching you’ll be supported for a full year: Career Revelation Academy: A 5-step career change process (if you have a job you want to stay in, I’ll show you how to love it even more) that can launch you into your next career chapter in 30 days.
  2. 2x/month group training and coaching on Spirituality, Achievement, Earth Energy and Harmony. You’ll know how to design your days for breakthroughs, create a personal brand and community, lead yourself and others through change, become more physically and mentally fit, reduce stress and reinvent what’s possible in this next chapter of your life.
  3. Discover your Leadership Strengths and Branding Workshop: Increase your awareness of what makes YOU different from others and how to become even better at your genius zone.
  4. Your Best Year workshop: Create your one year plan and design this next year, no matter what time of the year it is.
  5. Your Next 5 Years one-day virtual retreat: Vision what’s possible 5 years from now and break out of your old routines so you can step into new habits, behaviors and routines.
  6. Tickets to all in-person Spiritual Achiever retreats (discounted rates): Highly immersive and intimate gatherings where we spend time in nature, experience energy work, eat and move well – all while making big decisions and committing to what’s next for us.
  7. Monthly 1:1 Coaching Sessions: To help you break through obstacles, define your individual path, and to work on both strategy and mindset.

The next step?

Schedule a consultation to get clarity on how coaching can help you on your journey.

Once you’re accepted into the program, you’ll receive a calendar invite for a 2-hour deep dive 1:1 session to map out your personal goals and your own year-long journey.

You’ll have immediate access to the Spiritual Achiever process and philosophy – how to achieve your biggest goals and reinvent your life.

You’ll have immediate access to 5 modules of Career Revelation Academy – to love your career even more and launch that next chapter of your career in 30 days.

You’ll have the calendar invites for the upcoming group calls and retreats.

If this speaks to you, I can’t wait to talk to you live: Schedule a consultation.

Reach out at www.mayempson.com/contact for more information on my Spiritual Achiever coaching program. You’ll figure out what’s next and actually go and do it. 

That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.

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