187: The Self-Trust Cycle


Welcome to episode #187 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. This year has really been one for the books and I have seen that when we do this process of developing self-trust, you start to see bigger picture changes that you’ve been longing for, happen in quick succession. The key to truly understanding yourself is to see what decisions you make and why. There’s so much at stake yet we often don’t even understand why we make or delay certain decisions and what’s happening in the process. This is why today’s podcast on the self-trust cycle is going to be so important for your self development journey.

I recently had an acknowledgement in the amount of self-trust that I have and how that’s contributed to a much more spiritually led life that’s also fun and full of adventure. When you’ve spent quite a bit of time learning how to make the “right” decisions, you build muscles for making decisions that are collaborative and for the greater good of all – even if it’s not for your own good. Your next level of growth comes when you learn the process of making decisions that are more edgy and uncomfortable as you start to make decisions for yourself and your life that are more unconventional – yet also for the greater good for all. More intelligence and more intuition at the same time. As you listen to your intuition, you’ll find intelligent ways to make life work for you.

What happens when you trust yourself

Starting a business, changing roles, moving, redefining your relationships, becoming a different version of yourself and deciding that instead of being ok with the daily grind, that you are asking for more from life. All of these are bigger moves that come when you trust yourself. 

This shift from follower to self-leadership and other-leadership is really one of the most important steps you can take in your life. Finding out that you have what it takes, that you trust yourself and that you are committed not just to other people, but to yourself, your mission and your decisions. I have made some big investments in my life and in my business. Each time I did that, there was a time where I wondered if it was a mistake. A lag between the decision being made and the tangible proof that this worked out in my favor. This delay and this doubt is often seen as a problem but I want you to understand this one thing. This is where most people stop. This gap therefore, is a prerequisite for your dream job and lives. 

Gaps and doubt are not a problem. You have an intellectual ability to see something from different angles. I found myself seeing that I have the capacity to go to the place where I find trust and intuitive thinking combined with intellectual decision-making. I find trust in my business. I find trust in my capabilities. I find trust in what I will accomplish and what I commit to and with that self-trust, the decisions I make become lighter and more sure. 

This is what I teach in my coaching. How to bring all of yourself to what you do whether it is in work or in life. How to communicate well. How to own your strengths and your opportunity areas. How to be a thought leader and influence others. How to lead yourself to lead others. If you don’t know how to trust yourself, but you do trust in other’s expertise, I will show you how to become self-reliant without resenting others so that you live a life that lives up to your expectations. 

What self-trust is and is not

Self-trust isn’t the idea that you are in one hundred percent belief that everything you do is the best and correct. It doesn’t eliminate doubt. What it honors and acknowledges is that you have a reason for doing what you’re doing. That reason is defined by your definition of success, your personal goals, and your priorities. Self-trust acknowledges that you are willing to fail and that you will attempt to succeed to the best of your ability and capabilities. Self-trust ultimately is created when you make decisions from a place of growth. 

The self-trust that I’ve created comes with calm. I’ve never been more calm about my business as I take big leaps. I trust the work I do is real, meaningful and as sure as any corporate job I’ve done. I’ve never been more calm about my relationships and I’ve never trusted my body and the way I treat my body more. 

The reason self-trust is life-changing is that you see yourself doing different things with self-trust. You’re able to make bigger moves. The kind that you see “other people” do. The questions you had about people who seem to just “do things effortlessly” are usually answered through their level of self-trust, otherwise known as confidence.  If you want to see what can happen when you trust yourself, ask yourself this question: what would I do differently if I trust myself with this decision?

So many of us are holding ourselves back from what we would want to do because we don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves to have relationships, kids and to own businesses. We don’t trust ourselves with our money or with big decisions. 

How to trust yourself

The smallest of decisions leads to the biggest of decisions. Telling the truth to ourselves even when it’s uncomfortable is an example. The next small decision would then be to decide that we want to tell someone else that truth. The next small decision after that is that we decide to do something differently. The next small decision after that is doing that first step of the thing we want to do differently. Picking up the phone. Sitting yourself down. Asking the question. 

If we don’t trust ourselves to do our work without burning ourselves out, we don’t trust ourselves to take on more responsibility. I haven’t found a quick fix to success, but one of the most predictable leading indicators of success is the ability to trust ourselves to do what we said we will do. If we said we’re not going to do it the old way where we feel unhappy, directionless, overwhelmed and stressed – that is no longer an option.

The more I trust myself to be the version of myself that is the most successful, the more I follow through. The more I hold myself in high regard, the more I trust myself to follow through. It’s a virtuous cycle and if you’re thinking it’s better to shame, blame and embarrass yourself – ask how fun it would be to do life with you when you’re holding yourself in high regard with high self-trust versus in shame and blame. The decision is yours and if you need help, I’m here.

If you’re struggling with overwhelm and that erodes your sense of self-trust, I’ll show you how to make it impossible to not make progress. This is why I work with my clients to go from stressed, overwhelmed workers to calm, confident leaders who have their dream jobs.

It is so much more fun to have your dream job and your dream life. It’s so much fun to trust yourself to do it well and sustainably. You become your best self-fulfilling prophecy. You allow yourself to expand into work and levels of time freedom and health that keep just getting deeper, richer and more unique to you. 

Self-trust helps you reverse age

Every year I keep trusting myself more and I’ve found that it has only been the fountain of youth because making decisions without heaviness keeps you in the spiritual game of business and life in age-defying ways. When we’re in that next chapter of life, we often become fixed in our ways of thinking and doing things. Self-trust is the foundation of solid ground that allows us to play with bigger, bolder ideas and “what if’s?” 

Self-trust makes it safe to question why we’ve done things the way we’ve done them and in the next chapter of our lives, the more we question and answer those questions from our own place of knowledge, the more our life becomes a version of ourselves. Your dreams were meant to be lived into and if the only reason you’re not doing it is because you don’t trust yourself, you have to ask yourself what is it going to cost me to keep doing life this way? Where am I going to be next year?

The self-trust cycle is only complete when you go from that gap in seeing what you desire as a problem to the solution. The problem becomes the solution. Not having it becomes the solution because who you will become along the way is the point, not the arrival. 

The journey becomes the destination. You care more about being present for this experience of life than about being perfect and instead of just looking forward to the future, you’re finding joy, peace, fun and love now. This is when the self-trust cycle completes. The decision has already been made through you that you’re moving forward regardless of what happens – and that you will make whatever happens, work for you.

This is what’s available to you and what I want to help you discover for yourself. Make your dream job your real job and have fun along the way. Go from stressed, overwhelmed worker to calm, confident leader.

If you’re ready to Own Your Best Life, I want to invite you to watch the free training on how to Stand Out and Lead, using spiritual, high-performance strategies. You can access the training at https://may-empson.mykajabi.com/stand-out-and-lead.

You can then apply to join my Spiritual Achiever® program, where you’re going to create your next chapter with spiritual and high-performance strategies to achieve time and financial freedom using my proven method. It’s risk-free. You either start seeing results within your first month or I give you your money back. Schedule your call HERE. We’ll see you inside.

Want to know more about what happens when you join?

  1. When you join Spiritual Achiever® Coaching you’ll be supported for a full year: Career Revelation Academy: A 5-step career change process (if you have a job you want to stay in, I’ll show you how to love it even more) that can launch you into your next career chapter in 30 days.
  2. 2x/month group training and coaching on Spirituality, Achievement, Earth Energy and Harmony. You’ll know how to design your days for breakthroughs, create a personal brand and community, lead yourself and others through change, become more physically and mentally fit, reduce stress and reinvent what’s possible in this next chapter of your life.
  3. Discover your Leadership Strengths and Branding Workshop: Increase your awareness of what makes YOU different from others and how to become even better at your genius zone.
  4. Your Best Year workshop: Create your one year plan and design this next year, no matter what time of the year it is.
  5. Your Next 5 Years one-day virtual retreat: Vision what’s possible 5 years from now and break out of your old routines so you can step into new habits, behaviors and routines.
  6. Tickets to all in-person Spiritual Achiever retreats (accommodations not included): Highly immersive and intimate gatherings where we spend time in nature, experience energy work, eat and move well – all while making big decisions and committing to what’s next for us.
  7. Monthly 1:1 Coaching Sessions: To help you break through obstacles, define your individual path, and to work on both strategy and mindset.

The next step?

Schedule a consultation to get clarity on how coaching can help make your dream job your real job.

Once you’re accepted into the program, you’ll receive a calendar invite for a 2-hour deep dive 1:1 session to map out your personal goals and your own year-long journey.

You’ll have immediate access to the Spiritual Achiever process and philosophy – how to achieve your biggest goals and reinvent your life.

You’ll have immediate access to 5 modules of Career Revelation Academy – to love your career even more and launch that next chapter of your career in 30 days.

You’ll have the calendar invites for the upcoming group calls and retreats.

If this speaks to you, I can’t wait to talk to you live: Schedule a consultation.

Reach out at www.mayempson.com/contact for more information on my Spiritual Achiever coaching program. You’ll figure out what’s next and actually go and do it. 

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