161: Rewriting Your Rules for Life


Welcome to episode #161 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. When I began to rewrite the rules for my life, it was as I was changing careers. I wanted to figure out what I wanted next but I also knew that there were so many unwritten rules I was playing by that were keeping me from making my move. How we identify and demystify the rules we have in life are a big part in creating new rules. Today’s podcast on rewriting your rules for life is going to be a way for you to see what you’ve been subconsciously driven by and also what you want to consciously change so you can direct yourself towards a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

When we start to make changes to our lives that are based on our own free will, it will often come with a sense of determination. We’re going to make a change and we want to do it now. We sign up for something, we make a call, we send an email and we take the first steps. Pretty soon, though – we feel like we’re done. We then go back to our old ways. We’re too busy, tired and energetically drained to keep moving towards that change we want. It’s like the New Year’s resolution that’s full of hope and promise in the first month of the new year, but when it gets to 4, 5 or 6 months later – we start to forget about what we said we wanted.

If we don’t want this to be the pattern for the rest of the year, let alone our lives – we have to rewrite some of the rules that keep us from doing what we want. Often, we have a very rational reason for wanting to change. Making changes in our lives, however, comes with a lot of emotions. Emotions like fear of the unknown and a worry that we’re making the wrong decision. What if you do something that you can’t come back from? What if you make a choice and it doesn’t work out? That self-doubt is the cost of making a decision. Every single time. It’s unavoidable so our biggest rule that we have to rewrite is the rule around our decisions. My philosophy is that failure is impossible because I always learn from my mistakes. That enables me to keep both a diligent effort and awareness of what I can improve upon while also allowing me to make mistakes. Both are not easy but are simple.

What are the other rules you have to rewrite in your life? Rules around what you are allowed to feel, say, do and be. There are unwritten rules around how you should operate and the types of social circles that you can be part of. There are unwritten rules around money and how much you get to have versus others. There are unwritten rules around how much time you spend with yourself versus your kids versus your spouse versus your work. All unwritten rules guiding our decisions and our lives. 

The other day I was talking to a friend about having people over for extended periods of time and how you want to take care of everyone else to make sure they’re having a good time. Yet, at what point do we forget that they really just want to see us? That they want to get to know us better. Not some version of our life that is changed to an unrecognizable form because we are catering to others’ needs so much that the way we spend time with others looks almost 100% different than if you were to spend time by yourself. When I went to Costa Rica and took my mom for 2 weeks, I realized a very important truth once again. The way I live is valuable. Just being with me – we don’t have to do things. It’s the energy we bring to every situation whether it’s just making breakfast or just sitting around. It’s the decisions we make around moving our bodies each day, what we eat and where we go. It’s all valuable.

Our unwritten rules often come from outside of us. The reason it’s important to understand that is because one of the first steps of living life on your own terms is seeing where you are living to other people’s expectations of you versus your own. Then, you consider which of these you want to keep because they are serving and helping you. Others, you may need to question and rewrite. This requires some intentionality and consciousness. It’s why we take these conversations to coaching sessions where we unwind these thoughts. It’s why we go on retreats to get out of our daily routines to live in new ways. I’ve designed my coaching program to be able to take you on the journey of rewriting and examining rules. Consistently and for a year so that they end up being the new way you live. 

Question everything and then rewrite it all. It will and can take years without dedication, but with persistence and consistency you will see your life change faster than you can imagine. A new life with new rules is available now – all without having to throw away everything you’ve already worked so hard for. Taking a new rule into your current life allows you to do things like have work be done at 2x the speed or seeing new breakthroughs occur in relationships where you have had trouble in the past. New rules allow you to see your life as if you’ve finally washed the windshield and the things you’ve been wanting were there all along. 

I cannot wait to see what rules you rewrite. 

I’ll leave you with this quote I love by Carl Jung which is, “Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

It’s not fate. It’s just the unconscious – and you can make your life a conscious act of deliberate creation.

If you like this blend of both practicality and mindset, you will love coaching. You can schedule a consultation at www.mayempson.com/contact  to learn more about working together and joining this community of like-minded, open and curious seekers. It is the powerful group and private coaching hybrid experience for achievers who want to expand their vision of what’s possible. Twelve months of support, individualized guidance, community and retreats. We will help you build your confidence, trust your intuition and make decisions that you love.

If you’re ready to Own Your Best Life, I want to invite you to watch the free training on how to Stand Out and Lead, using spiritual, high-performance strategies. You can access the training at https://may-empson.mykajabi.com/stand-out-and-lead.

You can then apply to join my Spiritual Achiever® program, where you’re going to create your next chapter with spiritual and high-performance strategies to achieve time and financial freedom using my proven method. It’s risk-free. You either start seeing results within your first month or I give you your money back. Schedule your call HERE. We’ll see you inside.

That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.

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