Welcome to episode #158. There will be times in your life where you don’t know what to do to move into the next stage of your relationships, health, career or spirituality. You’ll feel stuck or confused. You might even think that you’ve tried everything. You’ll want to give up or just wait until the “time is right” and it falls into your lap. Before you do, listen to today’s episode. This will be the boost you need to save yourself years, re-energize and gather yourself back together as we train your mind for what’s next.
What I have found over and over is that people don’t do well when they change a lot of things at once. When we think about that next place in our lives where our health, wealth or relationships are different – we often want to just do a lot of things to make it happen. Yet, the first skill to master is the one you don’t see.
How to change your mind and train it for what’s next.
How you decide to think about what’s coming will determine your experience of what’s coming up for you. The other day, my husband was asking me a question and I was deep in thought, working. I tried to answer his question and swallowed the air. As I was coughing and trying to speak, I realized that my mind wasn’t ready even if my body was trying to go.
We often try to hurry up our way to the next thing we want and we forget that even if we take actions like moving our bodies, or reaching out to people – we need to be prepared mentally, first. We need to actually think through what we want and why we’re moving our bodies and reaching out. If we just do the things without the energy of belief behind it, we’re not fully sold. When we’re not fully sold, we’ll get some results – but just like me sputtering up an answer, it won’t be as effective and we’ll think the actions don’t work versus how we showed up fully believing and being ready to handle the situation.
Training our mind will feel like a conscious effort. Your current mind’s way of thinking is exactly why you have what you have today and change feels hard. Automatic habits and behaviors have been built up over years and while they can change, they won’t without something that breaks the patterns. Think about the last time you tried to break a tic like removing filler words or gestures or replacing language you normally use.
It’s not always easy and it takes doing it over and over again to start to do it the new way.
When you train your mind, you’ll have to desire and want to break patterns. Especially the patterns that don’t work.
For example, the pattern you have of emotionally eating. Or the pattern you have of thinking that what you need or have to say isn’t important. Or the pattern you have of wanting other people to think you’re smart, good looking or nice. All of these things can work, but often they stop working when you need to change.
Think about changing your work. Let’s say you decide to stop working or change jobs. You have to decide you want something more than what you currently want. When you want something else more than you want to identify your self worth with your work, you’ll finally decide enough is enough. It’s time to give it up. It will be hard, but it’s simple. Break the ties that bind you to the things that don’t work for what’s coming up next in your life.
This is the #1 job you have. Deciding what you want more than what you’re currently doing. We can teach ourselves how to want things. We can train our minds to prepare for the pitfalls that come when we try a new path and we get feedback that’s not great. We can train our minds to think about how we turn a situation around that feels impossible to solve. All of these things are necessary before you do anything.
Want to lose weight? You have to break the desire for indulgent food as a fix.
Want to work with a difficult person? You have to break the desire to be right.
Want to change roles? You have to break the desire for wanting to do what you’ve always done.
You can want new things. You can break the desire and build new desires. You can train your mind for what’s next over and over again. This is how you end up becoming that person who just loves healthy foods, has good relationships even with hard-to-work-with people and finds new roles that are the right combination of pay/impact/lifestyle. This is what makes it sustainable because who you are and how you think will always override what you do.
Life, people and situations know when you’re the real thing. If you’re not training your mind, it’s not a bad thing but it may be one stone you’ve left unturned as you look to make some changes to your life. You can do this every single day with every single situation. This is what I work with my clients on in addition to the strategy and plan – and it is usually the number one thing that people want to skip over. Don’t skip this. You’re not alone and this is something that most people struggle with. There’s a lot going on day-to-day but this is the thing that will make the day feel easier. Training your mind is like getting the knife hot before you move through the butter that is your day and all the to-do’s. It makes everything feel so much easier.
If you like this blend of both practicality and mindset, you will love coaching. You can schedule a consultation at www.mayempson.com/contact to learn more about working together and joining this community of like-minded, open and curious seekers. It is the powerful group and private coaching hybrid experience for achievers who want to expand their vision of what’s possible. Twelve months of support, individualized guidance, community and retreats. We will help you build your confidence, trust your intuition and make decisions that you love.
I’ve also just created a free masterclass for you. If you’re ready to figure out what’s next, you’ll want to sign up for the replay of my most recent masterclass, “Figuring out What’s Next.” Go to the link here to sign up and learn the three phases of where you’re at in your career/life crossroads and what to do in each phase.
That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.