Welcome to Episode #236 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast

Last Sunday, I ran the New York City Marathon and while I hit my goals, what changed me most wasn’t crossing the finish line.

It was what happened along the way, in the training, the pain, and the surrender, and how that process revealed what transformation truly looks like in the body, mind, and spirit.

This is the story of how I learned that real change begins in the body first, and how that experience reflects everything we do inside Spiritual Achiever® Coaching.

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The Backstory

Twelve years ago, my husband Jay and I were living in New York City. We had just finished the Baltimore Half Marathon, he ran the full, and we decided it would be fun to run the NYC Marathon together.

We trained and completed the 9+1 program through the New York Road Runners, which guarantees entry to the marathon the following year. We earned our spots for 2012.

At the time, I had just turned thirty. I was working at McKinsey after finishing my MBA at Columbia, and we decided to start a family. I got pregnant almost immediately, which meant I would be seven months pregnant on marathon day.

So, I deferred my entry to the following year.

That year, 2012, Hurricane Sandy flooded New York City, and the marathon was cancelled.

By the time it came back around, I was returning to McKinsey from parental leave and adjusting to life with a new baby. Training for a marathon didn’t make the cut.

Full Circle

Fast forward twelve years. That baby is now twelve.

I am volunteering as a coach for Girls on the Run, where my youngest daughter participates. When they asked for volunteers to raise money for the NYC Marathon, I applied, not really expecting to be chosen.

But I was.

And that meant I had six months to train with an IT band injury that had flared up after a half marathon.

I hired a running coach who was also a physical therapist and stopped CrossFit to focus on running and strength training. I started small with one-mile run-walks in Washington D.C. while attending a conference. Then two miles. Then three.

Over six months, I built up to 20.6 miles. The hardest part wasn’t the running itself, it was fitting in 14-mile weekday runs before my 8 a.m. work start time, often in the dark.

But I already had a consistent daily movement practice. I simply shifted what I was doing. Weekends became long runs while the girls slept in, followed by family time with Jay.

Consistency made it possible.

The Mental Shift

Two to three weeks before the marathon, my brain changed.

I started thinking like a marathoner, about fueling, tapering, and logistics.

The NYC course starts on Staten Island, requiring a long commute and hours of waiting before your wave starts. It is hilly, with five bridges and unpredictable weather. You start late and may still be running through lunchtime.

I had to prepare not just my legs but my physiology, to fuel differently, rest strategically, and trust my body to adapt.

That’s when I realized: transformation always requires building a new kind of brain, but it begins by training the body to lead.

Race Day

The morning of the marathon felt calm but charged.

I started at my goal pace, but it felt faster than usual. Around mile 13, my IT band pain returned, sharp and familiar.

Normally, that’s when I stop. But this time, I said to myself, “We’re running through this.”

From miles 13 to 19, I alternated between walking and running. At mile 17, I saw Jay, our girls, and friends cheering on the sidelines. “My IT band hurts so much,” I told them, but I kept going.

Then came mile 19.

Something inside me shifted. I stopped trying to protect the pain and started working with it. I picked up speed. The pain softened. My stride opened.

I even paused for my “mom stretches,” lateral hip openers my kids see me do at home. It must have looked odd mid-race, but my body was asking for it, and I listened.

I drank more, checked in with my breath, and let my body lead.

And then I just got faster.

Each mile felt easier, lighter, and more connected. I saw friends, hugged Lian at mile 20, and locked into a rhythm I can only describe as freedom.

The Turning Point

That moment, the one where I stopped resisting and started listening, was everything.

Because at some point in every transformation, whether it’s in your career, your health, or your relationships, you will want to quit. The story that says “this isn’t working” will start playing on repeat.

That’s the crossroads where true change begins.

You can stop.
Or you can innovate.

I chose to innovate, to trust my body to find another way forward.

And when I did, my brain followed.

The Science Behind It

This wasn’t just mental grit. It was somatic rewiring.

The decision to keep running through the pain activated my body’s internal opioid system, increasing pain tolerance and altering muscle engagement.

The anterior mid-cingulate cortex, the brain’s bridge between emotion, motivation, and action, came online. It worked with the salience network, signaling to my system: this matters, stay engaged.

That combination locked me into focus and flow, the state where the body and brain synchronize, time slows, and effort feels effortless.

It’s the same state we talk about in Spiritual Achiever® Coaching when we explore how high performance meets deep purpose.

Flow and Focus

Between miles 9 and 13, I remember watching my shadow on the pavement, every stride rhythmic and deliberate. That was early flow.

At mile 19, flow deepened into surrender.

My thinking brain quieted. My body took over. The default-mode network, that self-referential, judgmental chatter, faded, replaced by pure presence.

I wasn’t thinking anymore. I was being.

That’s what flow truly is: safety, surrender, and embodied focus. It’s not about pushing harder; it’s about allowing yourself to move with what is.

The Finish Line

When I saw the “800 meters to go” sign, I smiled. Two laps around the track.

Then the “200 meters” sign, one lap.

I sprinted.

Crossing the finish line, I felt my IT band pain return, but it didn’t matter. I had done it.

When I got home, the girls surprised me with a cake that said, “To Do: 26.2,” with a checkmark beside it.

Lila looked at me and said, “You’re my role model.”

That was the moment that truly landed.

What It All Means

Running the marathon reminded me that transformation never happens in the comfort zone.

It happens when you’re willing to feel it all, the discomfort, the doubt, the stretch, and stay present anyway.

That’s what I mean when I say rewire the body so the brain can follow. It’s not about forcing change. It’s about presence, awareness, and letting the body find a new way forward so the mind can catch up.

And it brought me back to something I wrote the day before at the marathon expo.

At the Maybelline tent, runners could create their own signs. I made one for myself for the final six miles.

It said:
“THIS is what you came for. Feel it all.”

I knew those last miles would be hard. My body would ache, my mind would question everything, but that was exactly why I was there.

Not for the easy part.
Not for the perfect race.
But for the part where it got hard, and I could stay with it.

And I did.

That’s what transformation really is: feeling it all, letting the body lead you through it, and realizing you were never trying to escape the hard part, you were training to meet it differently.

The Deeper Lesson

You don’t have to run a marathon to change your life.

But you do have to meet yourself at the edges, the places that test your faith, your patience, and your presence.

Because that’s where growth lives.

Every one of us has a “mile 19” moment, at work, in leadership, in love. When we stop protecting the pain and start listening to what the body knows, we find our next gear.

And from that place, we move differently, not just faster, but freer.

That’s the work we do in Spiritual Achiever® Coaching. We integrate the spiritual, the practical, and the embodied so that you can lead, create, and live from flow.

Explore This Work

If you’re ready to explore your own version of this, to find your next gear, to lead and live from a place of embodied transformation, I’d love to help you do it.

✨ Learn more or book a call with me at www.mayempson.com/contact.

Because transformation doesn’t start in the mind.
It starts in the body.
And when the body leads, the brain, and your life, follow.

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