Welcome to episode #197 of the Own Your Best Life Podcast. When we think about success in life, the driven and ambitious believe that in order to have success, it means we have to be amazing at every single thing in our lives and at work. It can feel exhausting and at times anxiety-provoking, and you’re so used to working and living this way that this striving for perfection in everything is so ingrained it’s almost hard to even see. Today’s podcast on how you don’t have to be good at everything will help you clarify how to actually release the weight of unnecessary expectations.

It’s natural to think this way since you’ve likely been given feedback on all the things that are not going well. 

Traditional ways of developing ourselves and others are to dive into all the things we’re not good at and for us to just toughen up and figure it out. Our brains also have a negativity bias which means we pay more attention to negative information than we do to positive.

We’ve also been told that we won’t excel if we don’t do it like “so-and-so” and when we’ve had comparison as our main measuring stick for our whole life, it can feel difficult to unravel that sense of looking around you at how everyone else is doing, to figure out if you’re doing great or not.

This way of working also gives you the results you have so far, which are pretty good.

Yet, I want to ask you a question. What if we did it that way because we didn’t know any better? What if the actual intent was for you to succeed, not to do it exactly the way someone else did it?

When you think about the people who have truly inspired you or others in their lives, it is often leaders who have done things differently than others – and as a result, achieved some kind of greatness within themselves.

They defied traditional norms. They did things differently. They had lives that looked and felt uniquely theirs, even if they were being asked to do things just like everyone else around them.

They had to overcome that feeling of never being good enough or having enough or doing enough – and figure out not just how to do it like someone else, but how to do it their way – and do it well.

Overworked achievers are those that find themselves lost among the comparison, never feeling like they’ve had truly extraordinary experiences or times in their lives where they excelled on their own terms. Or, it feels like it was a long time ago and in a context that was outside of work or the life that they have today.

They feel like they’re always being worried about being found out, that they’re not working hard enough or doing enough. That there’s this sense of disapproval from whoever holds more authority in their lives, and that it’s mostly fear and guilt that drives their day-to-day actions.

At the same time, when we’re always working under the feeling of being scrutinized, judged and worried about what others think, we end up limiting our own ability to take intelligent risks, to be assertive in the ways that matter and to actually have more moments of incredible flow and connection to others.

So how does one not feel like they have to be good at everything?

You utilize spiritual, high-performance strategies that take into account who you are, your expertise and where you want to excel in life.

What does that involve?

It’s a combination of 2 things that I work with my clients on:

1. Daily spiritual practices – When you start to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, many professionals think they don’t have time for spiritual, inner work – when in fact that is the time when reminding yourself of your soul purpose and of the larger meaning behind your actions matters most. 

You’ll understand how to make decisions more easily and reduce unnecessary procrastination when you have these practices. It helps you do every day life with more calm and grounded attention. These are practical strategies that help you reduce the mental chatter because the more confident you are about why you’re here and what you want to do with your life, the more spacious your mind will feel. Even if you feel like you’ve lost your way and have a hard time figuring out what you really want at this stage of your life, daily spiritual practices can create clarity and focus.

2. Your Superpower Edge™ system – When you can create a system for the way you work that takes into account your natural talents and strengths, you’ll find that there are fewer places you need to excel that matter.

You don’t have to work on everything at the same time and the error is thinking that we can or must. So we feel disappointed with ourselves, our progress and what we haven’t done yet. With the Superpower Edge, the journey is the prize because each day we have millions of opportunities to hone our edge. We use the negativity bias to our advantage and think about the few things we want to be known for and instead of racing towards average comparing ourselves in areas that don’t truly matter, we’re confident that we’re having an impact on what does matter.

With this system, you are not waiting for the future for things to get better. You also don’t put off the work today that helps your tomorrows.  You’re living your deep, rich version of life today and you can begin to imagine sustaining this kind of life full of unexpected richness that you helped to create – by being more you. Instead of giving up, you know that you haven’t reached the end of your fulfillment spectrum or what’s possible for you. 

This system also is more sustainable because you can focus on one thing at a time. Instead of time passing with a feeling like nothing changed, you keep your attention focused on your unique path and creating a stand out, unique personal brand and life – and time passing creates progress and results. We also let go of self-defeating habits of ruminating on the past that waste precious time and focus instead on what we can do today. 

As a reminder, this is a highly personal system of not denying who you are and what you are here to do – whether it’s to be more accepting of yourself and others – or whether it’s to lead and create impact – there is so much more personal fulfillment available when we can start with the things that will create the most impact.

So I’ll ask you this, do you want to continue to be overwhelmed by comparison and thinking that you should be better and good at pretty much everything? 

Or do you want to see progress by focusing on what matters most, creating a unique, personal brand and living a life that feels authentic to you – while having impact and excelling?

If you want to take the second route, you’ll want to watch my free training on how to stop hiding and overworking and instead, Stand Out and Lead, using spiritual, high-performance strategies. You can access the training at https://may-empson.mykajabi.com/stand-out-and-lead.

You can then apply to join my Spiritual Achiever® program, where you’re going to create your next chapter with spiritual and high-performance strategies to achieve time and financial freedom using my proven method. It’s risk-free. You either start seeing results within your first month or I give you your money back. Schedule your call HERE. We’ll see you inside.

Want to know more about what happens when you join?

1. When you join Spiritual Achiever® Coaching you’ll be supported for a full year: Career Revelation Academy: A 5-step career change process (if you have a job you want to stay in, I’ll show you how to love it even more) that can launch you into your next career chapter in 30 days.
2. 2x/month group training and coaching on Spirituality, Achievement, Earth Energy and Harmony. You’ll know how to design your days for breakthroughs, create a personal brand and community, lead yourself and others through change, become more physically and mentally fit, reduce stress and reinvent what’s possible in this next chapter of your life.
3. Discover your Leadership Strengths and Branding Workshop: Increase your awareness of what makes YOU different from others and how to become even better at your genius zone.
4. Your Best Year workshop: Create your one year plan and design this next year, no matter what time of the year it is.
5. Your Next 5 Years one-day virtual retreat: Vision what’s possible 5 years from now and break out of your old routines so you can step into new habits, behaviors and routines.
6. Tickets to all in-person Spiritual Achiever retreats (discounted rates): Highly immersive and intimate gatherings where we spend time in nature, experience energy work, eat and move well – all while making big decisions and committing to what’s next for us.
7. Monthly 1:1 Coaching Sessions: To help you break through obstacles, define your individual path, and to work on both strategy and mindset.

The next step?

Schedule a consultation to get clarity on how coaching can help you on your journey.

Once you’re accepted into the program, you’ll receive a calendar invite for a 2-hour deep dive 1:1 session to map out your personal goals and your own year-long journey.

You’ll have immediate access to the Spiritual Achiever process and philosophy – how to achieve your biggest goals and reinvent your life.

You’ll have immediate access to 5 modules of Career Revelation Academy – to love your career even more and launch that next chapter of your career in 30 days.

You’ll have the calendar invites for the upcoming group calls and retreats.

If this speaks to you, I can’t wait to talk to you live: Schedule a consultation.

Reach out at www.mayempson.com/contact for more information on my Spiritual Achiever coaching program. You’ll figure out what’s next and actually go and do it. 

That’s it for this week. Have an amazing one and I’ll talk to you next time.