The ability to decide, choose and respond appropriately to what life provides you is one of the most amazing ways we can demonstrate our own personal power. That realization alone may change your life. Why? You suddenly realize that if you have the power to choose how you want to live your life, that means that you can create a life you love. While that is an empowering principle, that also can be one that brings up a feeling of overwhelm too. Where do I even start? What can I do if I can do anything? Today we’re going to talk about how in our process of self-discovery, creation is the first step.
When we create a life we love, we must start first with understanding two things.
- Where we are
- Where we want to be
Where we are: Personal honesty and courage is required to fully look at yourself and your life in the mirror and notice where things are today across the whole of your life. If each of the areas of our lives could be fully lit up in terms of excitement, joy, gratitude and a sense of growth – where do you feel you are today? This exercise may seem so simple but what happens is that we are so busy making a living that we forget to design a life. We forget about taking a real pause and reflective look at the trajectory of our life, our actions, habits and our patterns. We may even know that we’re not heading down a path that really benefits us but we just don’t know how to stop the movement in that direction.
Where we want to be: There’s a reason why we need to know where we are and where we want to be when we look at a map. We need to know if we are heading towards our destination or not. When was the last time you truly saw the destination so clearly in your mind? When was the last time you were inspired by the destination in mind? Many of us feel like we just need to settle. This is the way it’s supposed to be right? We’re supposed to have a loveless marriage after kids. We’re supposed to feel tired all the time. We’re supposed to feel stress coursing through our veins on a daily basis. We’re supposed to not like where we work or what we do. We’ve been conditioned through the way we’ve seen the people around us live to do the same. To expect the same.
I want you to know that in this way, you can dare to be different. I am creating a movement around Intuitive leaders because it’s time that we lead ourselves back to remembering what we wanted from our lives when we didn’t have so many fears, judgements or “should’s” running our lives. If you think back to when you were a kid, there were so many more options because you had less ideas about the way the world worked. While we need to understand the structure, context and social norms we operate with, we also need to know when it’s time to make a shift from a paradigm that no longer works for you and the life you want to live.
Creating a life you love comes from understanding what you love. What do you love? What if the rules didn’t exist and you could actually have what you wanted? What would you want? Many of us believe that if we had enough money, we would never work again. What would you do then with your time? Of course there would likely be a lot of enjoyment and relaxation but at some point, you’ll want to feel that you’re growing or contributing or making an impact. What would you do then? What would you want to learn about? Where would you want to spend your time?
Don’t worry if your goal doesn’t seem big or expansive enough. Creating a life you love is about patience and the long game. It’s not about comparing your life to anyone else’s when you are in the process of creating a life you love. What matters more is that you start to have a goal or a dream or a vision of the way you want to live your life. For me, it started with something as simple as wanting to have more time at home with my family. I was on the road all the time and knew that it wasn’t sustainable. As I made one change, I then made another, and then another and another. Before I knew it, my life had taken on a completely different shape and form in a short amount of time. But there were years of my life where that didn’t happen. What was the difference? I began to do more work visioning and asking myself better questions about my life. I saw my life through the lens of an artist with each moment a vignette I could create with the utmost beauty. It slowed down time even amidst a full life.
Creating a life you love isn’t about doing more things you love. It’s about loving what you do, how you do it and who you are becoming along the way. It’s about creating a beautiful destination that you don’t mind taking years to get to because in the process of it, you are creating so many moments of the art that is your life. Messy and imperfect but created with your signature and the stamp from your own spirit. Unknown to outsiders, you are living a secret life of incredible beauty and that’s what ends up becoming your freedom. Instead of tying your joy to the external structure and systems, you’re tying your joy with a life that is inside of you. Once you operate from that place of personal power and centeredness, your internal victories become external again and again.
No matter who you are with, your energy is still powerfully present. Allow yourself to take a moment and reflect on where you’re at in your life, who you want to be, and who you want to surround yourself with so that you can experience your life at a deeper level. Take a moment to answer this one question for yourself to get started on the process of creating a life you love:
If I allowed myself to learn the process of creating a life I loved, how would that feel?
Let that vision pull you forward and take whatever that first next step is for you so that you can take action, make decisions and progress towards this beautiful life.
In this month’s Intuitive Leadership Coaching, we’ll be covering how to create a compelling vision for your next 5 years. Each month we break down topics such as these to answer the big questions, help you take action and move forward with clarity and peace. Go to www.mayempson.com/contact to learn more.